Peanut Economics: Rockin' N Rollin' With the Punches

Hi there friends! In 2013, I thought I would mix things up a bit and kick it old school in trying to find myself a means of employment. Last year's efforts were a bit of a let down, so I thought I would try out for something a little more traditional to help me bring home the bacon.

I decided I was going to join an 80's rocker band. It made perfect sense to me, and there seemed to be so many pluses to the career move. I made a mental list for myself to weigh all of the potential benefits.

1. Job security. You gotta figure, if a rocker hasn't disappeared into obscurity after twenty years or so, there's gotta be some kind of cool secret to their career longevity. 

2. Savings on hair grooming. Rockers NEVER cut their hair, or wash it very often, so I would save tons of money by not having to get groomed. There might be a small monetary offset on cans of hairspray and eyeliner, but hey, sometimes, it's a trade off.
3. Great singing talent is not necessarily a requirement. Apparently, when kicking it old school rocker style, the moniker 'if you can't sing good, sing loud' really can work for you.

The more I thought about it, the better I felt. I really thought I could do this. The big question though was what kind of rocker did I want to be? I tried to channel a little classic rock with Credence Clear Water Revival but found I didn't quite have the right sound for it.

Next, I gave my best rebel yell at the first white wedding I could find, but the ushers threw me out before I could even get to the chorus. Apparently, the guests were not a big fan of my rendition of Billy Idol.

I finally decided, if I was going to be a rocker, I needed to go all the way and commit myself to Rock And Roll All Nite! I kissed my good girl image goodbye and unleashed my Peanut Poison Pie...... rocker and roller of all things round and squeaky. Nothing could stand in my way!

I played HARD at all hours of the day and night.........the way a real rocker should.........and I didn't care what anybody said about it! Squeaka! Squeaka!

I even had the attitude going on....you know the one they say you hafta have as a celebrity rocker to help set you apart from everyone else?

I had the moves and the grooves on stage.....you know the kind that say 'look but you can't touch'....

They were great times, being on the road, unskinny bopping (whatever that means). It was what a Peanut Poison Pie rocker's life should be.....

But just as every rose has it's thorn, this rocker life of action was beginning to feel kind of empty for me, and I was starting to miss my mommy alot. She had always encouraged me to follow my dreams, but had always reminded me to stay true to myself in the process.

I realized as I squeaked my squeaky ball that life on the road as Peanut Poison Pie just wasn't for me. I liked being just plain old Peanut Pumpkin Pie, squeaking my ball with my nicely groomed hair.

I like being just plain me. I decided to hang my up hair and pass the flaming baton on to someone else.

It's not that there is anything wrong with being a rocker. It just wasn't a good fit for me. I guess I wasn't enough of a fallen angel. When the last song was sung and my shooting star landed, I picked up the phone and told my mommy I was coming home. I will always look back on my rocker days with fondness as a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but I will always be grateful for the decision I made to leave that rock and rollercoaster life behind.

It is so important to know who you are in your own heart; not based on how someone else defines you but on how you define yourself. People's opinions of you will come and go like the flashes from a pyrotechnic's flashpot. What you think of yourself is the thing that matters most. It is the opinion you will carry with you the rest of your life. As long as you know who you are and are happy with the person you see looking back at you in the mirror, nothing else matters.

Here's hoping that today when you look in the mirror, you love what you see. And don't forget to rock and roll with the punches!

Peanut Economics: The "Hare" Raising Adventure of an Easter Bunny Cattle Call

Hello dear friends! In honor of the Easter holiday, I decided to try my paw at one of the most prestigious holiday jobs ever. I answered the call of the Easter Bunny!

It was a cattle call actually, so I put on my ears and away I went. The location of the tryouts was top secret and really hard to find. Thank goodness I had on my magic bunny ears and was able to find the special stick that marked the spot. Otherwise I might have missed my chance.

I was a little nervous when I first arrived because there were so many bunnies there! They were all drinking coffee and eating donuts like crazy. With that much caffeine and sugar being tossed around by so many nervous, high energy bunnies, I knew it was going to be a long, hard day!

The director of the Easter Bunny project came in and gave us all our instructions. There were a series of categories we would be graded on, earning points on them throughout the day. The bunny with the most points at the end of the day would win the title of Easter Bunny. I was hoping to at least win the title of the Easter Bunny under study. (I hear they get paid in jelly beans!)

The first category was the bunny hop. Apparently, they take the bunny hop VERY seriously! I did the best I could, but they said it looked a little too much like I was taking a tinkle, so I only got 5 out of 10 points. Not a very stellar start to the day for me. I was disappointed but undeterred! I still had two more categories to go!

The next category was egg sniffing. Being able to tell the difference between a good egg and a rotten egg is extremely important. As a matter of fact, much of the Easter Bunny's reputation hinges on the ability to prevent rotten eggs from being left for little children. Since I have a powerful, sniffy nose, I knew I had this category in the bag (or the basket!). Yep....the pink one definitely had to go!

The final category was the talent category. Competition was stiff so I knew I had to pull out all the stops! After all, with cooking bunnies, singing bunnies, and furniture arranging bunnies, I had to do something that would help me stand out above the rest. So I did the only thing I could......I performed my world famous bunny tap dance!

My feet flew! I razzled! I dazzled! I had more razz-ma-tazz than all the other bunnies put together. When it was all said and done, I knew I had given it my all. All of the bunnies gave a standing ovation. Even the director had a smile on his face.

It was a very long day, and all of us Easter Bunny hopefuls were exhausted by the end of it. While the officials huddled in their hole to tally all our scores, all us bunnies took a little nap.

Unfortunately, my low bunny hop score disqualified me from being either the Easter Bunny or the Easter Bunny under study. The good news is I made a lot of new bunny friends, and that is way better than a bunch of store bought jelly beans! I realized just because things didn't work out the way I planned, didn't mean I couldn't find the blessings hidden in between the disappointments.

Mommy often says when God closes a door, He often opens a window of blessing. I never really knew what she meant until I walked away from the Easter Bunny cattle call without my Easter Bunny title but then had all my new bunny friends. My title only would have lasted a single day....but my friendships will last the rest of my life. I think in the end I got the better deal. I will take God's window any day!



Happy Easter dear friends and may you find your open window!





Peanut Economics - When the "Fruits" of Your Labor Just Aren't Enough

Hello dear friends. As many of you know during these challenging economic times, I have been on a mission to discover new and inventive means of employment to help alleviate some of the monetary pressures currently facing my family. Since some of my other odd job attempts have been unsuccessful, I thought I would try my paw at something a little more realistic.

Since the post office was on a hiring freeze and already had a negative view towards dogs to begin with, I decided to set my sights on becoming a Fruit of the Loom spokesdog. Since they already had an apple and two giant bunches of grapes, I decided to help them diversify by adding a strawberry to the mix. After all, who doesn't like strawberries?

Well, apparently Fruit of the Loom doesn't. They said I was the wrong species....of fruit that is. They didn't want to change their logo, etc, etc, etc. Well, rather than go back to the drawing board, I decided to use my super fruit brain power and come up with a new plan of attack. I decided to go for broke, and I applied to be a representative of the four major food groups. Why not? Fruits and vegetables are the biggest part of the food pyramid, but I am here to tell you......strawberries have WAY more fun than broccoli!

So I went down to the local branch of the USDA to apply for the job. I was brought into a room with representatives of the other major food groups and was left alone with no instructions and no idea how long it was going to be.

So I waited......and waited.......and waited.......and waited until I thought my eyes were going to bleed from weariness and my back felt like it was going to break from sitting in one place.

Then I got hungry. Really hungry. You see, I was in such a rush that morning, I forgot to eat breakfast, so I did something you should probably never do when you are in a position like the one I was in. I started checking out the other food groups.

Okay, so maybe it was a little more than checking them out....

Needless to say, when my interviewers finally walked in, they were not amused. Apparently, it is FROWNED upon to taste your fellow food groups. Note to the Establishment.......A LITTLE HEADS UP ABOUT THAT UNSPOKEN RULE WOULD HAVE BEEN APPRECIATED BEFORE HAND!!!!

Again, I didn't get the job. But maybe things worked out for the best after all. I don't think I could do the whole underwear model thing anyways, and government jobs can be very stressful, so maybe it is good that things didn't work out there, either. I did learn one thing from the whole embarrassing experience; it is always good to start the day with a good balanced breakfast. Don't worry though. I haven't given up. There's always tomorrow and another odd job.

Until then dear friends, don't forget to eat your fruits and veggies!

Peanut Wisdoms - When Every Day Feels Like Bath Day

There have been times when my mommy has said, "Today just feels like a Monday." I always wondered what she meant by that. I had this urge to correct her and say, "No Mommy. Today is Tuesday," but somehow, I always knew instinctively, it wasn't a matter of my mommy being confused about the calendar. There was something more in that little phrase which spoke to how she felt inside.

And so I searched for a puppy equivalent. I studied her expressions; the sounds she made; the way she walked; how many times she would pick me up and hold me tight. I studied every detail of her behavior. Then it hit me. When my mommy said it felt like a Monday, it was like me saying it felt like a bath day!

Now I realize there are pups out there who love getting baths. They love baths the way I love Christmas and opening presents.....

I have names for those kinds of dogs but those names shall remain behind my paw. Those colorful names shall  never be spoken aloud unless I am forced to say them by a very scary man who threatens to pluck my ears and withhold food from me. Needless to say, I hate baths. I endure them because I have to. Sometimes the baths are deserved. (No seriously mommy....the kitty touched me! You HAVE to get the cooties off!!)

But sometimes they are not. (But mommy....why won't you give the worm smell a chance?)

Either way, I still feel bad during the process. So in a way, it is like mommy being stressed. No matter why I am getting the bath, the process of it is no fun.....

 

The thing is though, when I am in the middle of the bath, I try to focus on blessings in my life and not focus on the bath itself. I think about how much my mommy loves me. I think about the blessings of toys, a warm bed, plenty of food to eat, fun loving pack babies, and a big yard to play in. I think about snow days and Spring breezes and sniffing things with my powerful, sniffy nose. The next thing I know, the bath is over, and my heart is full from thinking about all of the many good things in my life.

We all will have days that feel very much like bath days (or Mondays) whichever the case may be, but those kinds of days don't have to overcome us if we don't let them. We can remember the blessings in our lives and the things that really matter most. Focus on the blessings and before you know it, bath day is over and you have a clean slate.

Now, here is the really important question.....anyone interested in rolling on a worm?