Sunday, March 25, 2012

Peanut Economics - When the "Fruits" of Your Labor Just Aren't Enough

Hello dear friends. As many of you know during these challenging economic times, I have been on a mission to discover new and inventive means of employment to help alleviate some of the monetary pressures currently facing my family. Since some of my other odd job attempts have been unsuccessful, I thought I would try my paw at something a little more realistic.

Since the post office was on a hiring freeze and already had a negative view towards dogs to begin with, I decided to set my sights on becoming a Fruit of the Loom spokesdog. Since they already had an apple and two giant bunches of grapes, I decided to help them diversify by adding a strawberry to the mix. After all, who doesn't like strawberries?

Well, apparently Fruit of the Loom doesn't. They said I was the wrong species....of fruit that is. They didn't want to change their logo, etc, etc, etc. Well, rather than go back to the drawing board, I decided to use my super fruit brain power and come up with a new plan of attack. I decided to go for broke, and I applied to be a representative of the four major food groups. Why not? Fruits and vegetables are the biggest part of the food pyramid, but I am here to tell you......strawberries have WAY more fun than broccoli!

So I went down to the local branch of the USDA to apply for the job. I was brought into a room with representatives of the other major food groups and was left alone with no instructions and no idea how long it was going to be.

So I waited......and waited.......and waited.......and waited until I thought my eyes were going to bleed from weariness and my back felt like it was going to break from sitting in one place.

Then I got hungry. Really hungry. You see, I was in such a rush that morning, I forgot to eat breakfast, so I did something you should probably never do when you are in a position like the one I was in. I started checking out the other food groups.

Okay, so maybe it was a little more than checking them out....

Needless to say, when my interviewers finally walked in, they were not amused. Apparently, it is FROWNED upon to taste your fellow food groups. Note to the Establishment.......A LITTLE HEADS UP ABOUT THAT UNSPOKEN RULE WOULD HAVE BEEN APPRECIATED BEFORE HAND!!!!

Again, I didn't get the job. But maybe things worked out for the best after all. I don't think I could do the whole underwear model thing anyways, and government jobs can be very stressful, so maybe it is good that things didn't work out there, either. I did learn one thing from the whole embarrassing experience; it is always good to start the day with a good balanced breakfast. Don't worry though. I haven't given up. There's always tomorrow and another odd job.

Until then dear friends, don't forget to eat your fruits and veggies!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Peanut Economics: Undercover Investigations - What Really Goes On Behind Those Reindeer Games

As part of a special edition series of Peanut Economics, I have decided to investigate some of the seemingly innocuous and secretive jobs we all take for granted to find out the truth behind them. Take Santa's reindeer for example. We only hear about their activities one night out of the year, but what about the other 364 days out of the year?

I decided to go undercover to find out what Santa's reindeer were really up to.....

I tracked them down in a back yard in suburbia playing hopscotch and double dutch. I thought I would mingle among the reindeer brethren to get the scoop on their activities....

There was only one problem....they wouldn't let me join in any of their reindeer games...

It was actually kind of mean and hurt my feelings. So I left without my scoop, figuring maybe it wasn't so great to be a reindeer after all, even if you do get to pull Santa's sleigh.

I guess I didn't really get a scoop, but I did learn a really neat lesson. Sometimes, things may seem like they might be better for you if you were walking in another person's shoes, but the reality of that other person's life might not be so great. The person you are envying might not be so great when you get to know them. (I mean what kind of person doesn't let you play in their games?)

At any rate, I am just really glad to be me, and I wouldn't trade shoes with anyone else in the world. I hope you can find joy in your own shoes too!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Peanut Wisdoms - When Every Day Feels Like Bath Day

There have been times when my mommy has said, "Today just feels like a Monday." I always wondered what she meant by that. I had this urge to correct her and say, "No Mommy. Today is Tuesday," but somehow, I always knew instinctively, it wasn't a matter of my mommy being confused about the calendar. There was something more in that little phrase which spoke to how she felt inside.

And so I searched for a puppy equivalent. I studied her expressions; the sounds she made; the way she walked; how many times she would pick me up and hold me tight. I studied every detail of her behavior. Then it hit me. When my mommy said it felt like a Monday, it was like me saying it felt like a bath day!

Now I realize there are pups out there who love getting baths. They love baths the way I love Christmas and opening presents.....

I have names for those kinds of dogs but those names shall remain behind my paw. Those colorful names shall  never be spoken aloud unless I am forced to say them by a very scary man who threatens to pluck my ears and withhold food from me. Needless to say, I hate baths. I endure them because I have to. Sometimes the baths are deserved. (No seriously mommy....the kitty touched me! You HAVE to get the cooties off!!)

But sometimes they are not. (But mommy....why won't you give the worm smell a chance?)

Either way, I still feel bad during the process. So in a way, it is like mommy being stressed. No matter why I am getting the bath, the process of it is no fun.....


The thing is though, when I am in the middle of the bath, I try to focus on blessings in my life and not focus on the bath itself. I think about how much my mommy loves me. I think about the blessings of toys, a warm bed, plenty of food to eat, fun loving pack babies, and a big yard to play in. I think about snow days and Spring breezes and sniffing things with my powerful, sniffy nose. The next thing I know, the bath is over, and my heart is full from thinking about all of the many good things in my life.

We all will have days that feel very much like bath days (or Mondays) whichever the case may be, but those kinds of days don't have to overcome us if we don't let them. We can remember the blessings in our lives and the things that really matter most. Focus on the blessings and before you know it, bath day is over and you have a clean slate.

Now, here is the really important question.....anyone interested in rolling on a worm?